Into Me You See

January 20, 2010: An Invitation For you... Inviting you to come and take a swim deep inside of me, and navigate the crevices and make sure not one is left undiscovered...make sure to be prepared to be taken to a point of no return and to be left a in a complete state of bliss... ...let us connect the dots and imagine of a world unknown to others where only you and I take residence on this particular moment...a world where all inhibitions are left behind and the only thing mattering is what we are about to find... January 21, 2010: If I could... If I could, I would... Would turn back the hands in time, and try to make it right all over again. Would let the truth be known before  the unknown would lead to the end the end of what was fought for from the get go the reality that  you and I were getting to know that even though I loved you so you and I could be no more... If I could I would... Would move the mountains and swim the ...

Ever find yourself always being there for those you love and those who need you. Whether it's family, friends, or even complete strangers? You would do anything in your power to help in whatever way you can, even if it's just something as simple as a message to bring upon a smile? Ok. I am sure we all have been there. Now, tell me one thing. When you are in a predicament where you need someone, whether its to lend a helping hand, to talk, or just even a hug ... how many of you find yourself feeling ALONE. With no one around to ask if you need anything, or to just be there. True what they say. You know who your friends are when you are in the most difficult situations. The bandages are removed from your eyes and true colors are revealed. The individuals that you believed will always be there for you are the ones who don't even bother checking up on you. But yet, look for you when, of course, they need something from you! That's when you realize certain things. Fo...

It's being willing to walk away that gives you strength and power - if you're willing to accept the consequences of doing what you want to do. - Whoopi Goldberg If this were the case...

It's past midnight and I am still up. This has been a reoccurring thing for me lately. Everyone is sound asleep, yet I can't go to sleep. So much on my mind, so many things to do. So much I want to say, yet I'm afraid to open up in fear that I will open a floodgate to the tears that I've been trying to hold in for so long. Many tell me that I need to relax and take things one thing at a time. I look at them, nod and smile. Yet, inside I am screaming at the top of my lungs. "Shut the fuck up! You don't know what I'm living. You don't know what I'm feeling."  Everyday I open my eyes, yet I want to keep them close. I want to force myself to keep dreaming and not wake up to this reality I live. Where I get the strength to live this way, I have no clue. Wait, maybe I do. My two monkeys.  My lil' man. My sunshine. Who just turned 5 years old, but has had to grow up faster than what I would have wanted him to. Who has to go days and wee...