This is me, Evolving.

There is not a moment in time that I don’t remember myself as being overweight.

As a kid, I was always the biggest of my siblings, the biggest in my classes, and the biggest in my circle of friends. As you can imagine, I’ve always struggled with my weight.

My earliest memory of realizing how much more I weighed than the other girls in my circle was in the 6th grade. It was June 1993 to be more specific. We were getting ready for my 6th grade commencement, so we had to go clothes shopping, especially because I was giving a speech as 6th grade valedictorian.

I can recall not being able to shop in the regular girl/juniors sections. I had to head over the “old people” section as I used to call it because it was older women who shopped in that area. There was nothing CUTE in that section. I had to settle for something that fit, rather something I actually wanted to wear – not a very good feeling. That’s when it all started.

 

I remember that summer going to my annual physical and dreading the scale.

(Why do we always give the scale so much power over us?? – that’s a discussion of another day!)

Anyways, I slowly climbed the scale and cringed as the nurse had to keep moving the leverage over. (Yes, I am THAT old – no digital scales then.)

 

215.

No it wasn’t 2:15 in the afternoon. 215 was the amount in pounds that I weighed at 12/13 years old.

And the number slowly kept increasing the older I became.

So you see, being overweight has always been my reality.

No matter how many diets I went on, how many work out programs I tried, not even the phentermine I was put on when there was a pre-pre diabetes scare at the age of 23 years old.

I’ve done weight watchers a few times, I’ve done Beachbody program, I’ve the mayo clinic diet with the grapefruit juice, and I’ve tried Keto. I’ve had a gym membership since 2004 as well, and I’ve worked with personal trainers.

I would work out and try to live a healthy lifestyle.

I’ve had moments of success as well as moments of defeat, but not once have I given up on myself.

If one thing wouldn’t work, I would move on the next popular diet/program.

Many see overweight people and quickly assume that we don’t put the work in to try to be healthy – many times forgetting that everyone’s situation may not be the same. Especially, if there are underlying health conditions that contribute to the inability to lose and keep the weight off.

Fast forward to October 2019:

My yearly physical.

I had a conversation with doctor about my weight struggles and the topic of weight loss surgery came up.  (Note: at this time, I had many friends who had undergone surgery to help with the weight loss. I am not going to lie; I was one of those individuals who wanted to do it the “natural” way, on my own, with no help.) But by this time, I was tired of being tired. I was tired of the rollercoaster of emotions that was related to my up and down relationship with the scale. I was also scared shitless of illnesses that run in my family: diabetes and high blood pressure being a few to name. I was scared of not being around for my boys, of not being able to be the mom they need because of my health and weight.  So I signed up for the informational, and two weeks later I was sitting down listening to the surgeon explain what surgery was, the pros and cons, the lifestyle. I decided then and there that this was it. This was the route I was going because it was time to take control of myself again.

After months of meeting with a dietician, with the surgeon, having a psychological evaluation done, and countless of blood work, I was given a date to undergo the Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy, also known as VSG.

 

On 6/1/2020, I gave myself the opportunity to take care of me; to work on me for me.

 

I know many are going to think I took the easy way out.

But do know there is nothing easy about having surgery and lifelong restrictions.

Surgery is not magic trick that you get and BOOM – you are skinny.

Weight loss surgery is a tool – it does not do the work for you.

It does not weigh and measure your food.

It does not take your daily vitamins that you will be taking forever.

It does not get you to the gym and does your workout.

And if you don’t use it consistently and correctly, it’s not going to work.

Not only has this journey given me a jumpstart on my once again weight loss, but it has given me the push I needed to become the woman I’ve always wanted to be – a confident one!

A woman that now understands the meaning of “I can do hard things”!

 

I am here being vulnerable.

I am being my authentic self.

If you have any questions, feel free to message me.