A never ending cycle ...

That is exactly what life is!
A cycle that never ends. No matter how much you think you have surpassed the past
you find yourself going through the same motions over and over again...
And I say this because today I was going through my work email, and I came across and email that I sent myself in 2007... FOUR years ago! And it was a piece of writing that I had written in that moment. Reading it brought me back to then, yet it reflected somewhat where I am now.
Crazy, I thought to myself. How is it that with all that has passed and all that I've experienced I am still in the same place?! Could it be that, instead of moving forward, I moved in a circle? Or could it be that I didn't move at all? That I was still stuck in the same place ... both physically and mentally? So confusing that's what this all is!
I figured I will share the piece of writing that has me feeling this way.
Enjoy!

Caught up in the drama…

The one I always try to steer away from.

Don’t want to get myself entangled in a web

Of seduction, temptation and deceiving…

That’s not me.

Not me at all.

Funny how we say we should practice what we preach.

Yet.

Many a times, we find ourselves in awkward situations

And yet,

We find no explanations for why we are there.

That’s where I’m at right now.

No explanation or so I think.

Reasons are found beyond explanations.

Aren’t they the same though?

Crazy.

Yes. That’s me.

Letting myself go uncontrollably

Within the hidden meanings of words equating total chaos.

Allowing me to lose control of myself

In the eyes of seduction

Trying to wonder if real eyes can see into me

And realize the intimacy

Spoken through my own eyes.

Where my own eyes

Fail to see the road ahead of me,

An unexpected journey

Luring this being into a world not only of

Enticement, butterflies and excitement

But also one full of guilt, shame and regret

We are told never to regret

Because all happens for a reason…

But in a quick minute,

Something takes over, and

All changes and we forget

What is right from what is wrong

And we let ourselves fall into

What feels right in that once instance.

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