Skip to main content

Nayelis

Love.
ləv/
noun
1. an intense feeling of deep affection.
"babies fill parents with intense feelings of love"
synonyms:  deep affection, fondness, tenderness, warmth, intimacy, attachment, endearment; 

There are many different types of love.
The love you have for a parent, sibling or family member. 
The love of/for a friend or a pet.
The love for life. 
The love for your soulmate, your significant other, your other half. 

Then there is the love for your child. 
A child you carry within you for 9 months, technically 10. 
The one to teach you what unconditional love is.  
The one who you will move heaven and earth for to make sure he/she is safe. 
The one you put before yourself in any situation because life is 
No longer about you, but about him/her. 

There is also the love of a child. 
A one of a kind love, one with no conditions, no pretense, no judgement. 
One that is always and forever. 
It has no boundaries, it has no limits.
It has purpose. 
It teaches you to live again. It gives you reason. 

Nayelis. 
She was a special kind of love. 
She gave me wings and taught me to fly. 
She was my strength, as she showed me how to be strong. 
She taught me to fight even when there was no more fight in me.
She gave me purpose to continue.
She was perfect. 
Too perfect for this imperfect world. 

Three years since she took her last breath. 
One hundred  and fifty six days since I last held her.
One thousand ninety five days living with a broken heart.

Nayelis. 
The definition of strength, faith and love. 

 




Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

This is me, Evolving.

There is not a moment in time that I don’t remember myself as being overweight. As a kid, I was always the biggest of my siblings, the biggest in my classes, and the biggest in my circle of friends. As you can imagine, I’ve always struggled with my weight. My earliest memory of realizing how much more I weighed than the other girls in my circle was in the 6th grade. It was June 1993 to be more specific. We were getting ready for my 6th grade commencement, so we had to go clothes shopping, especially because I was giving a speech as 6th grade valedictorian. I can recall not being able to shop in the regular girl/juniors sections. I had to head over the “old people” section as I used to call it because it was older women who shopped in that area. There was nothing CUTE in that section. I had to settle for something that fit, rather something I actually wanted to wear – not a very good feeling. That’s when it all started.   I remember that summer going to my annual physical and dread
10 comments
Read more

Letter to my daughter

Letter to my daughter – 15 years ago, on this date, I was preparing to welcome you to the world after feeling you grow, close to my heart, for 39 weeks. I remember being overjoyed the day the doctor confirmed you would be a baby girl because deep down I already knew. So, as I laid on the surgery table, I waited patiently for your arrival.  Hearing your first cry as you made your presence known, holding you in my arms for the first time and breathing you in was like a piece of me that was missing had finally been found. I had prayed for this moment for so long. My princess, my mini me.  I remember your first sound, your first giggle, the first time you sat up, the first time you crawled and then right before your 1 st  birthday our world was shaken when we were given the news that would have us in the biggest fight of our lives. The hospital would be our second home for the first three years of your life. How ironic that it was in a hospital where you took your first breath, but it was
Post a Comment
Read more

Breathe.

While the Internet has proven to be resourceful in many ways, it can also be a curse.  I remember being on the 7th floor pediatric oncology unit back in June 2009. I was sitting with the doctors who were explaining to me Nayelis' diagnosis. (I had already Google searched leukemia in children, so I had a few questions of my own.) I went on to tell the doctors my findings, and they said not to let what I found on the Internet drive me crazy.  But that's just who I am.  You give me information I am not knowledgeable of, and I run with it on every search engine available to see what I can find. That's what I did then, and that's what I've been doing now.  Let me backtrack a bit.  During my 5-6 month pregnancy ultrasound for Neymar, doctors informed me that the ventricles in brain appeared a bit larger than they should have been. They closely monitored me during the remainder of the pregnancy to make sure the size was not increasing as it would mean there would be some d
1 comment
Read more