Skip to main content

My 1st Born







       Ten years ago, I found myself in the hospital room. Doctors had me hooked up to machines monitoring the baby and I. He was two weeks over due and I was not dilating. Later that morning, they informed me that the best option was to deliver via C-section. I was so full of emotion; I cried as I was nervous and didn't know what to expect. I just wanted my baby boy to make his way into this world with no complications. 

You see, in 2004, I was told there was a big chance that I may not be able to have children due to polycystic ovaries. I cried at the news because I always dreamed of being a mother, and here some doctor was telling me it may be possible. But I believed deep in my heart, God had other plans for me. 

July 1st, 2006, I gave birth to a beautiful and healthy baby boy, who would be known to the world as Nandiel. He is my first born, my heart, my reason for everything. He welcomed me to mommy hood and the life has not been the same ever since. He's brought joy into our lives as we watch him grow from an innocent baby full of life to a sweet boy with a big heart and a desire for more in life. A boy whose heart has experienced loss at such an early age. A boy who had to grow up faster than other kids his age. A boy who is wise beyond his years. A boy whose birthday wish is to be able to see his sister again. 

Every night I ask God to protect him and guide him; to steer him away from the negativity and evil that lives within others. Every night I pray that my baby boy continues to grow, learn, live and love. 



 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

This is me, Evolving.

There is not a moment in time that I don’t remember myself as being overweight. As a kid, I was always the biggest of my siblings, the biggest in my classes, and the biggest in my circle of friends. As you can imagine, I’ve always struggled with my weight. My earliest memory of realizing how much more I weighed than the other girls in my circle was in the 6th grade. It was June 1993 to be more specific. We were getting ready for my 6th grade commencement, so we had to go clothes shopping, especially because I was giving a speech as 6th grade valedictorian. I can recall not being able to shop in the regular girl/juniors sections. I had to head over the “old people” section as I used to call it because it was older women who shopped in that area. There was nothing CUTE in that section. I had to settle for something that fit, rather something I actually wanted to wear – not a very good feeling. That’s when it all started.   I remember that summer going to my annual physical and dread

Letter to my daughter

Letter to my daughter – 15 years ago, on this date, I was preparing to welcome you to the world after feeling you grow, close to my heart, for 39 weeks. I remember being overjoyed the day the doctor confirmed you would be a baby girl because deep down I already knew. So, as I laid on the surgery table, I waited patiently for your arrival.  Hearing your first cry as you made your presence known, holding you in my arms for the first time and breathing you in was like a piece of me that was missing had finally been found. I had prayed for this moment for so long. My princess, my mini me.  I remember your first sound, your first giggle, the first time you sat up, the first time you crawled and then right before your 1 st  birthday our world was shaken when we were given the news that would have us in the biggest fight of our lives. The hospital would be our second home for the first three years of your life. How ironic that it was in a hospital where you took your first breath, but it was

Breathe.

While the Internet has proven to be resourceful in many ways, it can also be a curse.  I remember being on the 7th floor pediatric oncology unit back in June 2009. I was sitting with the doctors who were explaining to me Nayelis' diagnosis. (I had already Google searched leukemia in children, so I had a few questions of my own.) I went on to tell the doctors my findings, and they said not to let what I found on the Internet drive me crazy.  But that's just who I am.  You give me information I am not knowledgeable of, and I run with it on every search engine available to see what I can find. That's what I did then, and that's what I've been doing now.  Let me backtrack a bit.  During my 5-6 month pregnancy ultrasound for Neymar, doctors informed me that the ventricles in brain appeared a bit larger than they should have been. They closely monitored me during the remainder of the pregnancy to make sure the size was not increasing as it would mean there would be some d