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Working on me.





 Back in 2011, I was at one of my heaviest moments. Physically and emotionally; and they go hand in hand right? When things are rough, I tend to drown my sorrows with food. I know I am not the only one. At the time, my 2 year old daughter was battling leukemia for the 2nd time. She had reached remission and we were able to spend the weekend at Camp Sunshine in Maine. Talk about struggles and I was facing them all. Mentally, emotionally, physically and financially. But with all that, I still kept pushing forward. I had no choice. I had to keep going for her and my oldest. 

Fast forward to 2016. My daughter is no longer physically here with us as she passed in 2012, but we have a new addition to the family and he will turn 1 this year. Things happen sometimes and we are not able to explain or comprehend why they happen they way they do. I still have my days, and I think I always will, but now I have another little being that I need to push forward for. In order to be able to do that, I have realized that I need to take care of me first so that I can then take care of them. A few days ago, I went in for a routine physical check up (last one was in 2013) and everything looked good. Today, I received a call confirming that all blood work came back A-ok! Doctor just wants me to continue doing what I've been doing in terms of eating and exercising. And that's what I planned to do because I have a goal to not be considered "obese" next year at my check up. #personalreflections

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  I look away  but not before stealing a glimpse of the reflection staring back  Sad brown eyes full of pain and sorrow  lies of yesterday  and worries of tomorrow unanswered questions prancer in my head like ballerina dancers pirouetting in never ending circles challenging  who I was then  and who I am now at one point  young and naive  so quick to believe  and so easy to deceive falling for everything  and yet now everything is falling apart. a part of then  still lingers within and mingles with  what has become and no one knows  what it really is things aren't always  what they seem to be too caught up to really see  the turmoil inside of me.