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Showing posts from July, 2016

No one told me.

"What makes a parent, I understood at that moment, is not so much genetics, but all the other things you give. Anyone can be a parent, but to be a mom or a dad, that takes years of giving with no thought of getting." (Unknown) 
When you are a kid, everyone tends to ask the infamous question: What do you want to be when you grow up? 
For me that was easy, I wanted to be a teacher. I wanted to work with kids of all ages and teach them the wonders of the world. I would practice on my brothers and sisters, and let me tell you, there were plenty of them! I was the oldest of eight children at home at one point. 
...I remember living on Maple Street in Bridgeport, first floor apartment. Our family had access to the basement, and I remember my parents putting an old couch down there and other extras we had around the house. I remember them getting their hands on a huge green chalkboard for me and putting it in the basement as well. It was all I needed to make my "classroom" o…

Children grieve too.

"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love."(Washington Irving)
They say the eyes are windows of one's soul.  I believe this is true, for the eyes can speak much louder than the tongue.  Looking into the eyes of a certain 10 year old, as he shares his fears and expressed his sadness, is like drowning in a sea of worries and confusion. 
I've always said he is not your typical kid. Not only was his innocence shattered at the loss of his best friend, who was also his sister, at such a young age, but he has had to grow up faster than others as he tries to understand how this world works. He is a breath of fresh air on any given day; he is my heart. So when his heart is broken, that makes mine shatter in more way I didn't think was possible. 
Just this evening, he looked me in the eye and tol…

Working on me.

Back in 2011, I was at one of my heaviest moments. Physically and emotionally; and they go hand in hand right? When things are rough, I tend to drown my sorrows with food. I know I am not the only one. At the time, my 2 year old daughter was battling leukemia for the 2nd time. She had reached remission and we were able to spend the weekend at Camp Sunshine in Maine. Talk about struggles and I was facing them all. Mentally, emotionally, physically and financially. But with all that, I still kept pushing forward. I had no choice. I had to keep going for her and my oldest. 
Fast forward to 2016. My daughter is no longer physically here with us as she passed in 2012, but we have a new addition to the family and he will turn 1 this year. Things happen sometimes and we are not able to explain or comprehend why they happen they way they do. I still have my days, and I think I always will, but now I have another little being that I need to push forward for. In order to be able to do that, I h…