Into Me You See

  I look away  but not before stealing a glimpse of the reflection staring back  Sad brown eyes full of pain and sorrow  lies of yesterday  and worries of tomorrow unanswered questions prancer in my head like ballerina dancers pirouetting in never ending circles challenging  who I was then  and who I am now at one point  young and naive  so quick to believe  and so easy to deceive falling for everything  and yet now everything is falling apart. a part of then  still lingers within and mingles with  what has become and no one knows  what it really is things aren't always  what they seem to be too caught up to really see  the turmoil inside of me. 

Journals: who here still has their old ones? Who here still writes in one? Just came across one of my old journals dated 4/2001-4/2003 ... Reading through it, recognizing how much I've grown, yet also seeing how some things just don't change. Here's an old piece: Emotionally naked I stand before you As I unveil Piece by piece Every layer of insecurity that conceal the self I like to call me. Shameful thoughts Mixed emotions Secret desires Flowing through my ocean Waves clashing Voices asking Why am I still standing before you as my world begins unmasking? Intentionally used Mentally abused Falsely accused. Not guilty I plead As my soul is being imprisoned. I stand before you Slowly exposing The mental illustration Hiding in disguise Underneath this coverup image. The sincere smile The untainted look The high level of self confidence That along with my innocence you took. Feeling like a hit and run Helpless and deserted. Banking in and cas